The prostate is a chestnut sized gland in people born with a penis that is often referred to as the ‘male G-spot’. Stimulating this gland has the potential to create longer, more frequent and more intense orgasms. What’s not to like about that? However, this sexually fulfilling experience is seemingly off limits to mainstream, heterosexual culture due to homophobia and outdated sexual values. These misguides opinions are preventing many from exploring their prostate and the experience to be vulnerable and receptive to penetration. But all sigma aside, sex is about feeling good and exploring your intimate self, so if prostate play is something you’ve considered, why not give it a try?
The prostate gland is often misunderstood in its function and placement. The prostate is located just a few inches inside the anus, towards the belly, near the root or internal beginning of the penis. The prostate creates a fluid which is released with ejaculation to help sperm move quicker and live longer. Prostate fluid makes up to 30% of the fluid in an ejaculation and is the reason for the bitter tastes. The prostate is located just below the bladder and very close to the urethra. An enlarged prostate is common, especially with age. Because of the proximity to the bladder and urethra, if the prostate becomes enlarged enough, it can cause urination issues. The cause of enlarged prostate or benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) is unknown yet usually isn’t dangerous.
Stimulating the prostate can have more benefits than just better orgasms. This stimulation can help flush out the prostate and increase blood flow to the pelvic area. It can help impotence and provide some cancer prevention, yet it’s still important to get regular screenings with a doctor. Prostate play is also a great option for those with erectile disfunction or persons who don’t want to engage their penis during sex.
Massaging the prostate can be done inside or outside the body. External stimulation can be done by either a finger or a firm, bulb ended toy, like the Njoy pure wand. Press the area between the anus and the testicles, sometimes referred to as the taint or perineum. Internally, the prostate can’t be touched directly but stimulated through the rectum wall. Whenever touching your own or someone else's prostate, insure your nails are short and free of any sharp corners. Ideally use a protective glove or slip a condom over your finger. Try to use the pad of your finger and not the nail or tip. It’s also a good idea to have a few wet wipes around for quick cleanup.
Use a smooth, long lasting lube, like Uberlube and enough to cover your finger and anus area. Your palm should be facing the body and move slowly until you identify the gland. The prostate swells when aroused, making it easier to locate, so some sexy foreplay beforehand can be helpful. Move with a slow ‘come hither’ motion to gently massage the gland. Self prostate massage can be tricky and an act of sexual contortion, so using a sex toy could make it easier. A non-porous toy that is curved in shape is ideal. The Pfun Plug Butt Plug is not only the perfect shape and material for prostate play but also has a flared base to insure it doesn’t get lost inside your body. Either gently move to toy with your hand or engage your PC muscles, pulsing them rhythmically. Using a toy that vibrates, like the Tantus Prostate Play Butt Plug, is also a sexy option to explore. Changing positions will change sensation so keep that in mind when trying to find your sweet spot. For more information about the PC muscles and how they can help your orgasm, see Wild Flower’s guide to kegels.
Not everyone orgasms from just prostate stimulation so stimulating the penis at the same time can add to the pleasure. However it isn’t common for prostate owners to experience ‘dry orgasms’, allowing for multiple orgasms without ejaculation. Ejaculation orgasms require a waiting period between each one, while dry or prostate orgasms do not.